Author: ayalakim

When I first heard about counterfactual identity I couldn’t help but think about a time that I tried to transform into something I thought is the appealing or current style. I enjoy getting dolled up and trying to feel beautiful but at the end of the day for me, it is more important that I have a clean conscience on how I treat others or respond when faced with adversity. Also, it is kind of similar to the saying if you look good you will feel good. Which can be half true to some myself included.

A lot of the reactions were you look pretty. Well, it was at a plaza where I conducted the questionnaire. However, the one that stayed with me was when I went to wash my hands a little girl told me that I look pretty and reminded her of a Disney princess which took me by surprise because I was not expecting that she was waiting for her mom so it was just the both of us. Also, when children compliment you its more genuine in my opinion because they are blunt with comments and she had no need to lie or anything to gain out of it. So I simply said thank you and told her she was beautiful because she is.

I changed my appearance by wearing big eyelashes and eye contact. I changed my naturally curly hair by straightening it and wearing accessories. I was even wearing a bold lip color, I tend to purchase very pretty lip products but fail to wear them more often so I felt very bold and at first hesitant to go out in public but it is all in my head because I enjoy the process of getting dolled up but get shy or nervous to be seen like that in public. Due to getting the attention that I am not used to.

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The reactions I had were from girls around my age asking me where I got my eyelashes from or that my hairclips were cute because of the sparkle it had. They thought my name was Elena, Andrea, and Cynthia. Many thought my major was either political science or art. Yes, some looked confused as to why a stranger is just asking for their opinion about her appearance and others were more open to conversate. I asked why the names and majors they thought based on how I looked. Hence, their response, I look Hispanic and give off a vibe like my name is Andrea or Cynthia. For my major was that I dress fashionably like an art major and that I seem intelligent enough to be interested in political science. My name is Kimberly and I am majoring in Engineering.

I found it interesting because I participate in both as a hobby. In high school, I joined Young Senators under Ricardo Lara and was politically active in local communities and have always enjoyed creating art. I had trouble putting myself into a category even my sisters when I asked them. Since being well-rounded and not easily confined into only one character trait it was a bit of a challenge when I ask my friends or siblings. When I am not wearing makeup or dressed fashionably rather wearing yoga pants and crew neck I am talked to as a teenager who knows little, however, when I am dressed in nice clothing and wearing makeup with eyelashes presenting myself as an older women some talk to me with respect and speak to me as a human being and not an object. Yet, some encounters were sour with inappropriate comments about my appearance.

It goes on both extremes of the spectrum of how women are perceived and treated when conversating. I just brushed off the comments I did not want to take and appreciated the people who participated and helped me have a better understanding of how I am seen. I do not normally invest time into what people think of me or how I look. If I have the time to do makeup I will but I do not depend on makeup to feel pretty or have it limit how I see myself. For me beauty is how you carry yourself in the bad and good my beauty is objective and not subjective because I will not allow myself to feed on the opinion of others thinking I am ugly or pretty because that is their opinion. My physical appearance is not based on others but solely on what I want to look at when I see my reflection.
overall happy.

In my research of understanding what counterfactual identity is I came across counterfactual thinking which is a concept that we tend to create possible alternatives to life events similar to when we say “What if?” or “If I had only…”, so the way I related it to counterfactual identity might be a stretch but its still fascinating. So when changing yourself for whatever the reason it opens to a different possibility on how you are treated or seen as by society. Hence, multiple outcomes when a new input is used a different outcome is given and if something is changed about the person it opens the possibility of a new outcome.

Within today’s time the youth and young adults read,share, and laugh at memes. It has become a huge part of the humor used now to explain political ideas, films, and current events. This kind of humor has been crucial to keeping teens involved with what is happening big or small events. It is important to have memes among social media platforms that keep viewers entertained and sometimes even have them engaged with each-other in the comment section about important social issues.

I chose to paint this meme because it describes how fast the relevance or liking of people switches. Social media has a way of canceling influencers based on their past or rumors. It also represents the social media culture. It is how huge platforms make a living by promoting products and lifestyles.

Memes are also used in marketing and have popular demand for online retail advertisements. Memes are now part of our culture because of how vastly they are used to explain reactions about whatever the cause may be. I personally enjoy The Spongebob Squarepants show memes because every new wave of memes is at least one of the characters played. I know that it is absurd how can memes be important to how we think about certain topics or social issues. But they really do contribute to a lot of public opinions that spark conversations.

The social platforms help create these kinds of memes that communicate opinions, experiences, and events. In a society that constantly says it feels alone, they are comforted with seeing how other users related to the meme. Another idea that I would like to talk about is how as a society that also makes a living on social media limits their use of social media to care for their mental health.

Artist: JP Gonzales

Exhibition: Afterburn

Media: Sculpture, Plastic, Installation

Gallery: LBSU School of Art, Max L. Gatov Gallery

Website: Under construction

Instgram: N/A

LBSU undergraduate student JP Gonzales is working towards his degree in the School of Art’s Sculpture/ 4D Program. It is his third year in LBSU in the Sculpture BFA Group and I had the opportunity to interview him about his piece named Drive, that was inspired by a dream and the end of a relationship.

JP’s installation caught my attention because it straight up looks like a dead body that is being disposed of after a heinous crime but the dreamy effect it had that made it seem like everything was under control. The clear plastic that goes over the “body” gives it that dreamy filter and has a video playing behind it.

Since it is called Drive one would naturally put themselves as a driver when observing the piece. I feel the ride and bumpy roads and hear the occasional thump of the corpse moving in the trunk. The cool tones that are shades of blue allow the night to be lit. A black trash bag is used with silver duct tape around the neck, elbow-length, thighs, knees, and ankles are wrapped with silver tape. The driver’s view shows an empty street where the streetlamps are bright. The video was taken around 10 pm or 11 pm to have a more somber tone.Live in the Drive

His inspiration came to him through a series of events in his dreams and personal life. This piece, in particular, had more meaning to life than death. It represents a part of his life being killed away with its memories to remain simply that. Subconsciously his dreams translated into what was happing emotionally in his life that gave that dream meaning. When he first began his art piece, there was no real emotion to it that gave it character. Somewhere along the way, he gave that corpse a life of its own and a face that represented someone to him. By going through the art process of coping with his emotions of anger, and sadness he learned how to feel those feelings while creating Drive. The ideas explored in Drive, were of moving on from the past. It can also convey his old self being removed to grow into a new person.

These images I took are to represent my story and struggles with depression. However, this is not a technical report if professional help is needed to contact Alpha Mental Health Services +1 415-663-5584. By sharing these thoughts and experiences I can tell a story that might help you or someone you know to not feel alone.

I chose this story because it is time I openly discuss mental illness without the stigma that follows. I think that by writing this blog I can toss out the bad and make space for the new experiences life has without being tied down to depression. Thus, I think I did well in capturing these images throughout my journey.

Living with a mental illness is not always being sad or being moody. Yes, you might think then what is it exactly. Well, it is dynamic because it has tLiving with a mental illness is not always being sad or being moody. Yes, you might think then what is it exactly. Well, it is dynamic because it has to do with your brain activity and can be caused by genetics or trauma. It is episodes, whether they are long or short periods it is usually triggered by something or someone. Having friends or family struggling with depression is challenging to understand because they can seem rather normal because for the most part people tend to hide and be ashamed by mental illness. Instead of seeking professional help or talking to someone they trust to help them cope. It seems easier to lock it away or indulge in dangerous behavior.

Each image has a role in how I am trying to explain this story. However, image 2 with a dipped paintbrush that creates an abstract water picture is the one I think is the best image because it is abstract not a fixed piece. Therefore, not everyone fits into one category when it comes to mental illness, depression is just one of many that are usually along with anxiety, bipolar disorder, and more. Yet, I will focus on depression because is what I can share. Being an abstract image best conveys this story by having the reader go through their thought process and emotions. Mental illness like depression is known to be a dark time in someone’s life for the most part. Yet, as mentioned before different people and different experiences.

Some people continue to live picture-perfect lives whilst struggling with a mental illness. On the outside, they seem to be happy because others see them thriving at work or school. In closed doors when no one sees is generally when the person breaks down because if they are leading a “normal” lifestyle they do not seek help and cope with their illness in a wrong manner such as self-harming, loss of appetite, and/or risky behaviors.

For many people who struggle with depression rather not talk about it because they are afraid to be stigmatized and classified as weak that could affect their standing within some group dynamic, or they do not want others to worry about them, or simply not comfortable speaking up about their feelings and thoughts with others. Depression does not make you weak and you should not feel ashamed about it.

This photo story has seven images that help me tell a story and the one image that cannot be on its own is image three because it can tell another story on its own. What I would do differently next time is to conduct interviews or surveys that will help me reach my audience which is students and faculty in California State University of Long Beach. At the moment I have many more photostories such as child abused and human trafficking on an international level and equal rights for all.

I enjoy drawing I can even be bold and say I love drawing. I often criticize my own work because I am my own worst critic by expecting monumental art. However it is a fun hobby for me that keeps me at peace. Even when my work is “bad” I still enjoy seeing it and laughing at it because I don’t take it too serious because it’s meant to be fun or at least passionate with either love anger or any other emotion that is strong enough to inspire your work.

I speak four languages and I can agree with different languages enabling different thought. Such as thinking in Spanish or translating English to German. However American Sign Language has been an interesting learning experience since I use my hands and body language to express myself and communicate within the deaf community.

While drawing outside next the NOW I had the opportunity to meet my classmates a bit more while drawing them and sharing our thought process of how to draw trees or our hand contour. In which I learned patience for myself to not erase I was able to manage without it. I would definitely try this activity again even with my friends as we have lunch or simply hang out. Practicing is known to improve your skill in whatever it may be in this case it is drawing and it will improve dramatically if I practiced for 100 or even 1,000 hours. Being an engineering major having sketching skills is important when designing machinery, new equipment, or blueprints for a new building or bridges. Therefore, having some sort of sketching skill under your belt as an engineer will improve you understanding do your projects and help others have a clear understanding of what it is you’re explaining.

Drawing is a language because it translate to emotions which words can cause too. Hence psychologists having there patient draw when they cannot explain a trauma they have experienced with words. In which it helps the doctor have a better understanding of what and how the patient feels and thinks. Seeing them draw is even better to see how they process thought and emotion. Henceforth, drawing is a language of its own that is just as important as speaking or signing.

Exhibition Information

Artist: Yucen Liu

Exhibition: Metal Group Show

Median: Metal

Gallery: CSULB – Max L. Gatov Gallery

Website: Under Construction

Instagram: @Yucen_metalsmith

I had the pleasure of meeting Miss. Yucen during her graduate year here at the California State University of Long Beach. Yucen Liu is an international student from China who is studying in the School of Art’s Metal Program. She specializes in metals and also creates beautiful jewelry out of metal. Her main focus when creating sculptures is animals. When she was growing up an only child in China she would often be gifted stuffed animals from her parents who wanted her to have a companion. The stuffed animals such as bears, wild cats, and other animals kept her imagination busy and now inspires her to create metal sculptures. Since metalwork is limited at the university level she decides to attend Long Beach State to earn her MFA (Masters in Fine Art) in metals.

It has been ten years since she moved to the States to studying art and it has been a mental challenge for her because she is missing her family. However, she expresses that feeling with beautiful sculptures and jewelry. As mentioned before she gets her inspiration from her childhood memories of stuffed animals. She mentioned how growing up she had a collection of various stuffed animals that have found her love and respect towards animals.

This piece captivated me because I love animals and bears are on top of my list. So naturally, I gravitated to the sculpture and I liked the flowers that were sticking out of its head and its sad eyes. Something about the bear’s eyes there felt as if it wanted to tell me something since its mouth was not as noticeable I assumed it’s not there. However, the nose and other features like ears are seen easily. The head of the bear is growing out of the ground representing a moment in Yucen’s childhood. She remembers how her mother would tell her not to eat the watermelon seeds because she’ll grow one inside her tummy. Thus, the best-having watermelon flowers I too to symbolize the growth of a watermelon.

The bear had a caption/title of “Mom said, if I accidentally eat watermelon seed” which is what her mother would tell her jokingly. Yet, when you’re a child you are more gullible to statements like these. It is made out of copper, brass, and is surrounded by black sand to represent dirt. The sculpture had fine details that were meant to be seen and the fur on a bear and each flower had its own set of unique lines to give it a texture similar to how a real bear would look or watermelon flowers. The sand was also a nice touch to emphasize it growing out of the ground. She kept it in the original copper color that gives it a classic tone because it is in its original color with a polish to shine. The piece itself is not huge but big enough to capture your attention.

When seeing her sculpture of the bear it resonated with me because I grew up going camping and being very outdoorsy so seeing something I am familiar with feeling nice. Since art can sometimes be confusing and difficult to understand I connected with her piece to my childhood memories. We both shared our childhood memories surrounding the sculpture and when I asked to elaborate more on the concept she shared this with me:

“I don’t want to limit my work I want to share my work with everyone”

Yucen Liu

To elaborate more on this quote is that no matter where you’re from you could understand and appreciate the sculpture and find something in common with the bear or message it is conveying. The message for me is peacefulness and growth. These two describe my art experience because the bear seems to be at peace even with it’s sad looking eyes it is accepting growth and change.

Her thought process when creating the bear sculpture is: Start with a clay model to get an idea of how big and the shapes to forged onto the metal slabs. Then, Yucen mentions how there is comfort when she uses equipment because it’s a passion to use a hammer to form shape, body, and gives you the energy that is translated into a piece for it to come to life. Well at least in our imagination to remember moments in our lives of growth.

It is a small almost unnoticed piece that was graffitied onto Piotr Kowalski’s NOW sculpture. I want to call it Mr.Juicebox because it reminds me of an overflown box that has been squished. Mr.Juciebox is also sprayed onto the pole holding a piece of NOW with black spray paint. The dripping effect reminds me of Goosebumps title art which is nostalgic for me since I grew up reading these books. The aesthetic of Mr.Jucicebox is dripping art in a way since the spray paint did not dry quickly enough to have a sleek silhouette. Even though I do not know the true intentions of the person who drew this on I can imagine they did it in a rush to not get caught. It is also street art or better qualified as graffiti because the artist’s intention could have been to form an antithesis to prevail in the societal context of NOW.

Since it can almost go unnoticed, Mr.Juicebox is a simple piece of NOW, his lines are not clean and he is smiling almost as if it were mischievous. It is comforting but frightening too if you think about what could be inside the box that is overfilling. However, the grin it has is also dripping black right in the center of the grin while its two dotted eyes have lines (drips) passing the eyes. Yet, it can also be comforting since it is smiling and how you perceive it. Therefore, it is interesting to look at because it can mean many things depending on the person. When graffiti is moved up to “street art” it is because it struck an emotion and gave the viewer an art experience. Thus, this piece gave me that experience because I had seen it prior while performing Maintenance Art on the NOW sculpture and it still caught my attention for this idea of art being found in anything and virtually anywhere.

Mr.Juicebox is essentially graffiti because someone intentionally placed it onto the sculpture without permission that is why we do not know who did it. In which it leads me to be captivated by it to frame it with tape and call it art. I believe it will be art after the tape is gone because it is a drawing at the end of the day. For me at least, Mr.Juicebox will be art after the tape frame is off because I have analyzed its properties and how it made me feel to continue thinking about it after the art experience. 

Art does not have to reside in the body of an object to be art. On our daily basis, art is influencing you even if you cannot realize it because are is in music, videos, or a project you worked so hard on. These things have a huge impact on our mood and emotions that make us human. Art can be an action such as a mime who is performing. I think art is so diverse that it cannot be pinpointed to a fixed definition that classifies something like art or not art. The viewer is an important role because if the piece or action gives them an art experience or not is based on how the person thinks of it.

The experience of painting without brushes was odd since I am comfortable using paintbrushes. It was difficult at first without it yet, I can say I enjoyed the process of it because not knowing where I want to take the painting was fun. Abstract finger painting was odd but not a new experience for me because I enjoy playing with colors, mediums, and textures with my style. however, what was new was how I approached it and the new perspective I have for abstract and in general art.

The uncertainty of how it will come out was also a challenge since I like knowing what something is and what its suppose to represent. Abstract art is supposed to make you think and imagine your version. However overall once I finished the painting using only my fingers was liberating because I felt happy to do a piece without the stress of it coming out nice. Since it’s nothing and everything at the same time. Also, it was frustrating at first because I wanted to control the painting on how I placed the paint. This mix of emotions is demonstrated by the different colors and shapes that can be imagined when squinting. It was different because I expected to just go paint it without considering a thought process. But when I began to paint I was just trying to make an image that had a resemblance to anything. Which I came to realize is impossible when it comes to abstract.

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Well, the style of it is similar to a YouTube creator Laura Tozer who paints with her fingers and creates an abstract painting. Her painting can be compared to my own because it was a similar approach and the fact that we both used our fingers to paint the piece. Another painting that can be compared to my own is an abstract textured oil painting by Je Hlobik that I saw on Etsy was the spiral and the texture that is similar to the Portal that I created. 

When I was painting my piece I had my inner issues that resurfaced because I felt like I wasn’t able to control the outcome. In the end, I feel liberated from the tension when I felt the cold paint on my hands and feeling the canvas grip when I glide my fingers across it. This project has inspired me to try more abstract freestyle on my future painting whether it is with my hands or brush.

Performing the Maintenance Art in the area around the USU was like when I clean my home. It felt ordinary since it is muscle memory for me. However, it was pleasant to meet my classmates and be friendly. Mierle Laderman Ukeles Maintenance Art is considered art maybe because she cleaned the steps of a museum or because she is a New York City-based artist known for her feminist ideals. She realized that she has the freedom to name maintenance art since her two worlds were colliding. One is being a mother and an artist. While Richard Serra flinging molten lead is splashed onto the walls is different than maintenance since it is deliberate.

He is known to work with heavy metal and takes pride in how heavy they can get in pounds. Which I find interesting, to say the least. Therefore they are not the same both have different styles and messages but ultimately both are bold and unique. It is art for both because it strikes an emotion onto the viewer who can take it one of many ways. The become the interpreter of the art and take what they need to see or feel from it and make it their own experience. Mierle’s Maintenance Art performance is an art because she wants it to be a message to the world that she is an artist who called it art by making it a movement. If she would have performed that job 6 months ago as a hired janitor it could be art by those who see her daily task as an inspiration or art movement when blended with the act of feminism. Since it is so simple to define but made frustratingly made more complicated.

Mierle and Richard both changed the way art is viewed through the performance of normal tasks to common beings who could relate to it. Also creating abstract pieces that he conveys his passion. Saying art is either one or the other is impossible when you see both like art. An object and an action are art depending on the intrinsic property because it is the in the nature it belongs too. As it’s own creative act becoming part of someone’s life. If a piece of “art” is in the museum it is because someone or a group of people called it art. Many can relate to the piece or are inspired by it. When asked if a house painting is art or not is not up to us it’s to the owner of the piece of art. I would consider it art if I picked it out and decided to place it in my home. A painting on a canvas isn’t always art like when a person paints without intention. While painting a house could be art, for instance, image 2 is of two homes that are always publicized online because of how different the vibe is. One is dark and mysterious and the other being bold and bright colors.

The words “Women’s Work” for me is direct. Women who work is simply that if their career or job is considered art for some then be it. I try to see the beauty in daily routine life. When we discussed cleaning a Star on Hollywood Blvd. I began to think who would I clean and no one came to mind. I do not idolize celebrities enough to want to get down on my knees and clean a Star that does not have any relation or emotion attach to me. Now I would leave objects of appreciation but nothing more.